The 6 types of people you meet when you move to Milan

So I may look like a sophisticated and smart university student with a cool, well put together life in the super chic Milan – irony alert – but believe me, angel faces, once upon a time I was a small town girl with black leggings and Converse – just like all of us at a point of our fashionista’s life – dreaming about the dazzling light of the big city. I’m not going to enter the details of how my fairy godmother and a bunch of talking mice helped me move to Milan, but I am going to tell you about what, or even better, WHO there was on the other side of my dream. And this is not just about me, because I know, no matter who you are, no matter if you became one of the people I’m going to tell you about, we ALL were the new ones in this beautiful city, stumbling to get the tram or carrying a heavy backpack to school/work and wondering how the heck these people deal with the crazy, addicting, wonderful life of the big city.
Let’s get stared.

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1. the Hot Not-So-Mess
We all know her. She could be your best friend, a classmate or even your older cousin who moved to Milan two years before you. IT DOES NOT METTER. tumblr_mt86y9SCB21qll22po5_400She is the queen of the drama queens, she’s always late with an assignment or a study group, she is juggling her personal life, a bunch of student associations, her school carrier and occasionally a new puppy she just got cause she thought she could deal with it. She is the apparently reliable girl you go out for lunch with the first day of classes. Then you sit down at the university cafeteria, chatting about whatever is the current mess in her life, and she orders a salad. And a diet coke. And now everything is clear: she is NOT a mess, she just pretends to be! She’s not like you, she’s not craving for a huge slice of pizza after eight hours of class, she is not “so late with her study plan” – come on! Who in their right mind have a STUDY PLAN?! You should have figured it out! – she is not struggling with anything at all, she’s just THAT girl, the one that freaks out before an exam and then gets the top score! She wears ripped boyfriend jeans in the middle of the winter and she’s not cold because she claims “didn’t even notice!”, she carries around a Moschino backpack full of a bunch of books only for the pleasure of the drama, she will always score better than you, look better and be more popular. Deal with it. You’re stuck with her now. You better start to love her just the way she is, or you are going to kill her sooner or later. XOXO.

 

2. the Fashion Eaters
Oh oh oh, these girls. I’m taking plural because these lovely creatures come in packs, just like the new Ciaté nail polishes they bought yesterday instead of saving money for their university books. 

tumblr_mnblyuUrrL1rzmfrvo1_400They eat pure air, think about it, you never saw them eat, they go on thanks to the only anticipation of the Zara shopping they are going to do when lessons will be over this afternoon. Their style is always on point, they come to class in heels dangling a too-small-for-books Louis Vuitton – I think that’s the actual name of the bag – their manicure is alway perfect, nails never chipped, hair always combed. Strangely enough you cannot imagine them doing anything “human” like sleeping or drinking water, because they are robots, shiny, skinny, fashionable robots, with a perfect Instagram account full of their beautiful bags in several vacation locations and a diet of pure will to be skinnier and more chic. Give up your will never be one of them. But then again do you really want to be like them?

 

3. the Blogaholics tumblr_mnd8b8sYc71rzmfrvo1_400
Now I don’t want to be sexist here, all of these people could be either girls or boys, but this is the magical category in which fall at least 1 out of 5 people in Milan , with a huge percentage of them being boys – and they say vanity is a womans thing! These people have devoted their life to fashion, praying every night on a small altar of Chiara Ferragni in their shoes closet. They have no interest in doing things which cannot be documented on their blog. A snowy day is the perfect location for shooting a post about their new Chanel boots, a family reunion is just great for views and likes – grandmas is always trendy and sweet – their pets are a favorite machine. Everything is calculated and as you spend time with them you’ll find out that you’re oddly envious of their shiny, perfectly staged life, but you have to resist. You’re life is worth more than a reblog! Think about it! No! Don’t do it! No!

 

 

4. the Bad Romancer
So at this point you think you’ve had enough, this city is just crazy and full of freaks! You think you hate Milan, but not as she hates it.tumblr_moozbt9uXc1rzmfrvo1_400
She was born and raised in Foro Bonaparte, when she breaths you can smell how Milanese she is, she looks like a metro station goddess, she eats the crowd in via Vittorio Emanuele for breakfast, her first steps were on the stairs outside the Duomo. But she is just so over all of this! She is always complaining on how bad the traffic is, the Fashion Week makes her insane because of the crowd on the tram, tourists are her worst nightmare. She always brags about how badly she would love to live a quiet life in a seaside small city or leaving for an endless vacation in the middle of a desert tropical island. But deep inside your ears you and even her know that she is double knotted to her city, she and Milan share their inner souls and she could not resist a single day in another city knowing she could not come back to the aperitivi in Brera and the shopping in Corso Como. As Lady Gaga wisely: said this girl is caught in a bad romance… with her city. Can you blame her?

 

5. the Night Life Zombie tumblr_mt86y9SCB21qll22po3_400
This could have been you, if you were just a little less self conscious about your physical limits in terms of partying. The first semester of university in a city like Milan is the death of every good study intention. There are just too many bars to explore, too many clubs you’ll fall in love with and want to come back every night. It’s just like that. You have to accept it. But this one, this one is a mess! He or she has just skipped the all “Nah tonight I should stay in and study” or the “Mmmh tomorrow I have an early class” part and jumped directly into the dazzling vortex of partying! There’s always a university night in some disco or a 5 euros for 10 shoots special in a cool bar and you can fall for it just like you got a disease, what a lovely disease! This girl or this boy got it and it left them sick and dizzy on a Sunday afternoon wondering how they skipped all the exams of the semester and how to catch up. Look and learn, cause you could be the next one!

6. the High Performer
tumblr_m940x4OJbM1rzmfrvo1_400And finally this girl. This girl is in everyone’s life. She is the anxiety factory you do NOT need, and not the good kind of anxiety, like the productive one, the bad kind, the very bad kind! She’s usually that girl who’s involved in at least fuor or five associations, two of them founded by her and currently running under her directions. She’s been twice in erasmus, has already done three in-company stages and all the possible campus abroad opportunities, all of this possibly while wearing high heels. She’s currently involved in a super cool stage or is working free lance for some famous company but all this does not stop her from jogging every day and living on a diet of quinoa and green tea – “it’s so good for your skin, you don’t even know”! Your life in comparison is more similar to the boring high school routine and still at the end of your day you are so exhausted you just want to fall asleep while watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians. How can she do all of this?! What kind of magical drugs is she on?! You won’t ever know. But she will forever provides you your un-needed daily dose of anxiety. Will you ever catch up with her crazy perfect life? No one knows, but relax, sooner or later she will have to slow down and that’ll be your chance to sprint!

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